Happy Fathers Day Funny Deadbeat Dad Quotes
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20+ Funny Father's Day Quotes That Only a Dad Could Love
Dad's seen it all — and these celeb fathers are right there with him.
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When Father's Day rolls around, it can be hard to find the exact right words to use to describe the depths of your love for the guy who's always been there for you. So if you're stuck on a message to write on a card or social media tribute, defer to the professionals: comedians and other celebrities who have been outspoken about the triumphs and pitfalls of fatherhood. And they've done it through comedy… because after all, a sense of humor is required for parenting! Show your love for dad — and give him a chuckle — with these funny Father's Day quotes from Ryan Reynolds, Jim Gaffigan, Jerry Seinfeld and more.
1 of 29
Dave Barry
"Remember what Dad really wants is a nap. Really."
2 of 29
Taye Diggs
"The most ridiculous thing I have heard myself say is, 'Do you want your pop-pop, your banky or your baba?' Translation: 'Do you want your pacifier, your blanket or your bottle?'"
3 of 29
Neil Patrick Harris
"You have to be adaptable because they constantly keep changing. They'll do something that blows your mind and then they'll spit all their food out on the carpet."
4 of 29
Mark Ruffalo
"If you're not yelling at your kids, you aren't spending enough time with them."
7 of 29
Conan O'Brien
Buying your kid a goldfish is a great way to teach them about responsibility for 24 to 36 hours.
8 of 29
Tay Diggs
How come my three year old son knows every species and genus of dinosaur and I can't even remember my home phone number?
9 of 29
Dax Shepard
I rescind my early statement, 'I could never fall in love with a girl who regularly poops her pants.' (I hadn't met my daughter yet).
10 of 29
Tim Russert
The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.
11 of 29
Charles Wadsworth
By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
12 of 29
Mark Twain
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."
13 of 29
Jerry Seinfeld
You can tell what was the best year of your father's life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.
14 of 29
Rita Rudner
I gave my father $100 and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
15 of 29
Chris Rock
"It's the ultimate in caring. You're wiping their a**, and someday they may have to wipe yours."
16 of 29
Jim Gaffigan
There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep.
17 of 29
Seth Meyers
It is so embarrassing how I went from a person who did not care about anyone's children. Then you have them, and you brag about the same stuff that you never cared about. And you tell people, 'he's got four teeth,' like they care.
18 of 29
Ryan Reynolds
n our 6 am walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning. I let her know it's in heaven, visiting daddy's freedom.
19 of 29
Ray Romano
Having children is like living in a frat house: nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.
20 of 29
Bob Odenkirk
My daughter got me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. So we know she's sarcastic.
21 of 29
Steve Martin
A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
22 of 29
Lin-Manuel Miranda
Good parenting means investing in your child's future, which is why I am saving to buy mine a hoverboard someday.
23 of 29
Brad Pitt
Getting a burp out of your little thing when she needs it is probably the greatest satisfaction I've come across at this point in my life. It is truly one of life's most satisfying moments.
24 of 29
Matt Damon
The only way I can describe [fatherhood] — it sounds stupid, but — at the end of 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas,' you know how his heart grows like five times? Everything is full; it's just full all the time.
25 of 29
Dave Attell
When you're young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape.
26 of 29
Jerry Lewis
When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.'
27 of 29
Jerry Seinfeld
Having a two year old is like having a blender without a lid.
28 of 29
Ed Asner
Raising a kid is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.
29 of 29
Jim Gaffigan
Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.
Alesandra Dubin Freelance Writer Alesandra is a veteran digital journalist based in Los Angeles, who has covered travel, food, events, fashion and beauty, entertainment, home, parenting, and viral content for more than 15 years.
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Source: https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/holidays/fathers-day/g32629637/funny-fathers-day-quotes/
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